Why I Think Your New Year's Resolution is Trash

If you aren’t interested in coming to my TED talk, go ahead and stop reading.

If I might hurt your feelings, go ahead and stop reading.

Because I just want to get totally honest for a second.

This morning I was packing up our living room, getting ready to finally move to our new home next week and, as I often do, I was reflecting on the years we have spent in this home and specifically the year that is closing.

2020. You know what you did.

I could go on and on reflecting on 2020. That’s another post for another day.

I started thinking about the New Year. Y’all I’ve bought the black-eyed peas and greens. We’ve got the pork and the sauerkraut. We aren’t cleaning or doing laundry on New Year’s Day. We’re inviting all of the luck in.

My mind wandered to the subject of New Year's Resolutions. Should I make one, or should I not? And I’ll just be honest, I hate New Years Resolutions. Honestly, I hate everything about them. Here’s why:

We are too hard on ourselves.

Let me say it again:

We. Are. Too. Hard. On. Ourselves.

Rinse and repeat that as many times as you need to until you feel it in your soul.

I’m prepared for all of the “New Year, New Me” posts I will see in the coming days. The people who will make plans to lose the weight or go to the gym or read the whole Bible in a year. I know people will make detailed plans and guilt themselves into sticking to them for weeks, committed that this year they won’t give up. People will be selling products and services that will make your life healthier and easier. 

Can I be real? All of that makes me sad.

Because I’ve been there. I’m a perfectionist with high-functioning depression and anxiety. I know what it’s like to feel like “this is the year I won’t give up on my goals” and “this year I have to do more and be better.” I’ve spent the money on the perfect workout program or the meal replacements or the self-help books.

I challenge you to just say no.

You don’t need to buy into or subscribe to anything to be a better you.

Don’t get me wrong, I’m all about setting goals for yourself. Especially in new seasons. We are moving to a new home in the new year. Y’all, I think my goals have goals. I love making big plans for new beginnings.

Please, just make them kind and easier on yourself.

I’m not going to plan to lose 20 lbs. I’m not going to plan to read my Bible in a year. I’m not going to plan to run a 5K or pay off my credit card debt. But here is what I am hoping for in the New Year:

-I hope to be kinder to myself.

-I hope to love my family well

-I hope to learn to say “no” better

-I hope to make my health (mental, physical, spiritual) a top priority

-I hope to be brave enough to leave things that no longer suit me

-I hope to find passion, pride, and purpose in my life again

-I hope to stop feeling like other people know more than me (Hello imposter syndrome)

-I hope to own my knowledge and capabilities

-I hope to be real with myself and with others

-I hope to create a comforting home I want to spend time in

-I hope to continue to advocate for those who can’t advocate for themselves

And above all else, when something stops fitting well in my life, I hope to...

Let. Shit. Go.

Sorry for the language Mom and Dad. It had to be said.

I know it’s vain and most people don’t care, but I see people chronicling their big fitness journeys all the time as an inspiration to others. So, for those who are interested, I’m going to chronicle my very underwhelming goals. I’m going to chronicle what it is like to just do your best at the exercising and the meal prepping and the self-work. Not buying anything new or subscribing to the latest things, just showing up and doing what you can day after day. 

I hope that I can inspire one other person to believe that life can be better without having to change drastically. I want someone to see that it is okay to be an imperfect work in progress. So I’m just going to be transparent and let those who want to come along for the ride.

But buckle up, because in a world where I don’t hold anything back, it’s likely to be a bumpy one.

-Sarah